surprise grandparents visit

Adult grandkids surprise grandparents with sleepovers in viral trend

Jess Armstrong and her cousins teamed up to surprise their "mimi and papa."

Across TikTok, a viral trend has captured the hearts of social media users with video clips of adult or teenage grandchildren surprising their grandparents with unexpected sleepovers.

"Love, laugh, and make memories with grandma," captioned one TikTok user next to a video of grandchildren waving and entering a home while carrying pillows and sleeping bags and then later, eating and wearing matching pajamas while their grandmother lay nearby in her own bed.

Another video from TikTok user Alyssa Mata showed a similar scene with her and her cousins carrying blankets and backpacks before surprising their grandparents at home.

"POV [Point of view] when you grab all your primos ["cousins" in Spanish] to have a sleepover at our grandparents house," Mata wrote in text overlaid on her video.

MORE: Parents surprise family after baby discharged from NICU after 170 days

Jess Armstrong and her cousins were all on board to jump on the trend two weeks ago and the 30-year-old shared her own TikTok video of her and her family – some of whom traveled across states – surprising their "mimi and papa" at their Michigan home on Dec. 22, ahead of Christmas.

"I texted all of my cousins in a huge group chat and I said, 'We have to do this. It would surprise them and they would love it,'" Armstrong told "Good Morning America."

Sure enough, Armstrong said her grandparents were taken aback but were "so excited" by the unexpected reunion of their grandchildren – eight of whom could attend in person and one via FaceTime.

MORE: 112-year-old gets heartwarming surprise birthday party

She said it was especially meaningful to her "papa" who had been experiencing some health challenges in the past year.

"All night long, if the room got silent for a minute, he would tear up and he would just say, 'I just can't believe you guys did this. This is so exciting. This is the best present I could have ever asked for and I want you all to know I love each and every one of you so much,'" Armstrong said. "It was just so emotional because of all the health things he's been going through."

Armstrong said she and her cousins and grandparents all watched "Willy Wonka" together and overall, the evening was "fun" and "a good time" with everyone reminiscing together.

Her advice for other groups of grandchildren hoping to pull off the surprise is to also bring plenty of food and snacks and to clean as you go, so as not to overwhelm your grandparents with extra chores and household work.

Since the sleepover was a huge success, Armstrong said she and her cousins now hope to also make the event an annual tradition.

"This will be remembered forever," she said.

TikTok Trend Of Adult Grandkids Surprising Grandparents With Sleepovers Is A Tearjerker

Grab the tissues.

Everyone is guilty of it: we don’t call our grandparents as much as we should, and visiting them, well, even less so. Chances are you remember the joys of staying the night at their house when you were little — maybe staying up a little late and having a big, homemade breakfast in the morning — and you know your grandma and grandpa treasure those memories. Now, adult grandchildren are taking it upon themselves, in a new viral TikTok trend, to surprise their grandparents with a sleepover, and wow are we so happy for all of these grandparents.

It’s not totally clear who started the trend or why, but around Christmas time, videos began popping up all over TikTok of adult grandkids filing into their grandparents houses, pillows and air mattresses in tow, to surprise them with a holiday slumber party. One video from user Tori Hahlen (@hah_tor) has 8.4 million likes and nearly 524,000 saves, and is one of the most viral examples of the idea. In it, she and her six grown-up cousins walk into their grandparents house with brownies, presents, blankets, pillows, and what looks to be a bottle of Jameson. When they inform Grandma they’re staying the night and ordering pizza, she says, “This is the best Christmas present ever,” and breaks down in tears.

View on TikTok

In another video by TikTok user Jess Armstrong (@jessarmstrong19), so many grandkids walk through her Mimi and Papa’s front door that it’s hard to count just how many there are at first. Alongside the eight grown-up grandkids, it looks like one great-grandchild even made an appearance.

Armstrong told Good Morning America that her Papa has had some health concerns in the last year, so her cousins traveled from states away to her grandparents’ Michigan home to surprise them on Dec. 22. Good luck not tearing up at her grandfather’s reaction.

“All night long, if the room got silent for a minute, he would tear up and he would just say, ‘I just can’t believe you guys did this. This is so exciting. This is the best present I could have ever asked for and I want you all to know I love each and every one of you so much,’” Armstrong told GMA . She says her family plans to make the adult sleepover an annual tradition.

If you feel like crying more happy tears and seeing more Nonnas, Poppies, Grannies, and Opas having their entire lives totally made, just search “grandparent sleepovers” on TikTok. In a crazy world with bad news around every corner, seeing so many families take this opportunity to love on their grandparents is a balm for the soul.

Adult grandkids surprise grandparents with sleepovers in viral trend

Across TikTok, a viral trend has captured the hearts of social media users with video clips of adult or teenage grandchildren surprising their grandparents with unexpected sleepovers.

"Love, laugh, and make memories with grandma," captioned one TikTok user next to a video of grandchildren waving and entering a home while carrying pillows and sleeping bags and then later, eating and wearing matching pajamas while their grandmother lay nearby in her own bed.

Editor’s Picks

Woman surprises grandma with heartwarming 'bun in the oven' pregnancy reveal

Grandfather creates traveling 'Peppa Pig' adventures for granddaughter

88-year-old goes viral sharing walk with great-granddaughter in heartwarming video

Another video from TikTok user Alyssa Mata showed a similar scene with her and her cousins carrying blankets and backpacks before surprising their grandparents at home.

"POV [Point of view] when you grab all your primos ["cousins" in Spanish] to have a sleepover at our grandparents house," Mata wrote in text overlaid on her video.

Related Articles

MORE: Parents surprise family after baby discharged from NICU after 170 days

Jess Armstrong and her cousins were all on board to jump on the trend two weeks ago and the 30-year-old shared her own TikTok video of her and her family – some of whom traveled across states – surprising their "mimi and papa" at their Michigan home on Dec. 22, ahead of Christmas.

"I texted all of my cousins in a huge group chat and I said, 'We have to do this. It would surprise them and they would love it,'" Armstrong told "Good Morning America."

Sure enough, Armstrong said her grandparents were taken aback but were "so excited" by the unexpected reunion of their grandchildren – eight of whom could attend in person and one via FaceTime.

MORE: 112-year-old gets heartwarming surprise birthday party

She said it was especially meaningful to her "papa" who had been experiencing some health challenges in the past year.

"All night long, if the room got silent for a minute, he would tear up and he would just say, 'I just can't believe you guys did this. This is so exciting. This is the best present I could have ever asked for and I want you all to know I love each and every one of you so much,'" Armstrong said. "It was just so emotional because of all the health things he's been going through."

Armstrong said she and her cousins and grandparents all watched "Willy Wonka" together and overall, the evening was "fun" and "a good time" with everyone reminiscing together.

Her advice for other groups of grandchildren hoping to pull off the surprise is to also bring plenty of food and snacks and to clean as you go, so as not to overwhelm your grandparents with extra chores and household work.

Since the sleepover was a huge success, Armstrong said she and her cousins now hope to also make the event an annual tradition.

"This will be remembered forever," she said.

Up Next in Family—

US couple's trip to Brazil turns into 4-month stay after wife gives birth at 28 weeks

Naomi Campbell reveals she welcomed both of her children via surrogacy

Mom shares realistic summer reminder for parents: 'It's OK to be in a hard season'

Nike releasing 'Girl Dad' sneakers in honor of the late Kobe and Gigi Bryant

Shop editors picks, sponsored content by taboola.

• Privacy Policy — 
• Your US State Privacy Rights — 
• Children's Online Privacy Policy — 
• Interest-Based Ads — 
• Terms of Use — 
• Do Not Sell My Info — 
• Contact Us — 

© 2024 ABC News

Adult grandchildren create new tradition of keeping close with grandparents with viral trend

A new trend sweeping the internet is bringing adult grandchildren closer to their grandparents. 

TikTok users are filming themselves surprising their grandparents with sleepovers under the hashtag #cousinsleepover - showing up to their homes with pillows, blankets and pajamas in tow.

The sweet gesture showcased adult cousins using their time at home for the holidays to plan a special night for their grandparents and enjoying old family traditions. 

PENNSYLVANIA GRANDKIDS SUPRIRSE THEIR GRANDPARENTS WITH ‘ADULT COUSINS SLEEPOVER’ FOR THE HOLIDAYS

Emily Sindoni, a fitness director in New York City, gathered her 10 cousins to partake in the trend, with her heartwarming video amassing over six million views on TikTok. 

"We really spent a lot of time growing up together," Sindoni told Fox News Digital . "My cousins and I, we tell our grandparents everything. They were always there for holidays, dance recitals, you name it - so we all have a really special relationship with our grandparents." 

READ ON THE FOX NEWS APP

When Sindoni saw a similar video online, she knew she had to organize a "Cousin Sleepover" for her own family. With the entire family traveling home to New Jersey for the holidays, they decided it was a great time to surprise "Pop Pop" Tony and "Mum Mum" Pat. 

"I sent [my cousins] the video and immediately everyone jumped on the idea," Sindoni said.

FLORIDA GRANDPA AND GRANDDAUGHTER GO VIRAL ON TIKTOK FOR THEIR JOY OVER PRE-SCHOOL PICKUP

All 10 cousins donned their pajamas and arrived with pizzas in hand. They opted to stagger their arrivals with each cousin arriving one-by-one, which added to the excitement for their grandparents as they realized everyone would be joining in on the fun. 

"Now everybody’s here," Pat Sindoni can be heard exclaiming in the video as the final cousins arrive. 

The family spent the night catching up on each other’s lives and playing family-favorite games that were traditional in their household. Sindoni also hopes that this will become an annual event for her and her cousins, with a new surprise in store for their grandparents next year. 

"You can't pull the same surprise off twice, but we would love to keep this going in some capacity - but change it up year-to-year," Sindoni told Fox News Digital.

OHIO GRANDSON TAKES 92-YEAR-OLD GRANDMOTHER TO VISIT EVERY SINGLE NATIONAL PARK: ‘TRANSFORMATIONAL’

The trend took social media by storm as videos of shocked grandparents with a house full of kids flooded TikTok. The wholesome movement garnered instant support on the app, with the hashtag #cousinsleepover reaching 17 million views online.

One TikTok user took note of how the kids were arriving with food for the group and things to do in hand - a touching gesture that allowed the grandparents to sit back and enjoy the time with their families. 

"Please notice how they came with food and gifts and activities. Not to burden them with feeding and entertaining them. Beautiful gesture," she wrote. 

"Surprise Sleepover at Grandparents must be ranked as #1 trend of 2023", another commented.

Sindoni hopes that the trend will serve as a reminder for grandchildren to take time out of their busy lives to enjoy an evening with the people they love.

"You don’t have to do the gifts and the games and all the extra stuff, it’s really [about] spending time with your loved ones, especially your grandparents while you have them," Sindoni said.

Original article source: Adult grandchildren create new tradition of keeping close with grandparents with viral trend

Watch CBS News

NJ family goes viral on TikTok as grandkids surprise grandparents for the holidays

By Joe Brandt , Valerie Carr

December 24, 2023 / 7:29 PM EST / CBS Philadelphia

BERLIN, N.J. (CBS) —  A South Jersey family went viral on TikTok this holiday season as 10 grandkids, all grown up, showed up one-by-one at their grandparents' home for a surprise get-together — just like they used to do as kids.

Over 5 million people have seen Tony Sindoni open the door of his home in Berlin, New Jersey, and welcome his grandchildren in with "my favorite people." There's Pat, a.k.a. Mom-Mom, hugging each grandkid as they show up in the kitchen with gifts or snacks in tow, and step away, holding her head in her hands, to take it all in.

"We always spent Christmas Eves together in our pajamas, tracking Santa, when he was getting there, all those kinds of things growing up," Emily Sindoni said. "They made us have so much fun when we were younger. Which is why we had to return it."

Sindoni and her grandparents spoke with CBS News Philadelphia on Christmas Eve about the tender moment that's touching hearts all over the internet.

"They used to all come over and we did it all here, but they got so big and we have a small house," grandpa Tony said. 

The return to the holiday tradition all started with a group text about two weeks ago — and then the grandkids started making arrangements.

"Everyone was in, and we all picked the games we were going to bring, or the food, BYOB. People got off of work or they canceled their plans and we just showed up one by one," Emily said.

The grandkids ranging from ages 18 to 40 brought pizza, drinks and games. And just like when they were kids, they had their holiday pajamas on when they showed up.

"They brought everything, and my house was such a mess," Pat said. "I was in the middle of making cookies, the mixer, the flour, the sugar was all over. Here they come with all this stuff."

And for a change, grandma and grandpa got dressed up too.

"Every year when we were younger, they got every cousin a pair of Christmas pajamas," Emily said. "So I decided, they obviously had to have their own."

They got them matching Mickey Mouse pajama shirts and bottoms.

Emily said she made the TikTok as sort of a highlight reel of the night for the family to have. But when she sent it to the cousins, she joked they'd be viral by tomorrow.

Then it actually happened. The video now has over 1 million likes and nearly 8,000 comments.

"The comments are so kind, everyone wants to be adopted into our family, it's been crazy," Emily said.

"It was unbelievable," Pat said. "I don't need another Christmas present the rest of my life. They could never top it."

"It's the things you do together, rather than the things that you buy for them. I stood and I realized, they were like little kids again," Pat added later. "They'll have those memories forever now, even when toys bought are all gone. You just say thank God for the blessings."

• Holiday Season

Joe Brandt has been a digital content producer for CBS News Philadelphia since 2022. He is a Temple University graduate and was born and raised in Pitman, NJ.

Featured Local Savings

More from cbs news.

Things to do in Philly this weekend – Phillies London Series watch parties, Kenny Chesney, ODUNDE

Rob McElhenney throws "first double play" for Philadelphia ahead of MLB London Series game

Paulsboro police find stray goat in town, searching for animal's owner

1 year later, could smoke from Canadian wildfires return to Philadelphia region?

• On the Border
• ABC-7 Alert Center
• Watch a Newscast
• ABC-7 StormTrack Doppler
• El Paso Chihuahuas
• Watch Locomotive FC
• Texas Politics
• New Mexico Politics
• Watch Live Events
• Borderland Crimes Podcast
• Community Champions
• Borderland Experts
• Father’s Day
• Good Vibes Only
• Sunday Funday
• Mother’s Day
• Entertainment
• Events Calendar
• ABC-7 Listens
• KVIA Careers
• Borderland Careers
• Contact KVIA
• People of ABC-7
• Closed Captioning
• EEO Public Filing
• FCC Public File
• KVIA Jobs and Internships
• Download Our Apps
• History of KVIA ABC-7
• TV Listings

Family goes viral on TikTok as grandkids surprise grandparents for the holidays

By Joe Brandt, Valerie Carr

Click here for updates on this story

    BERLIN, New Jersey ( KYW ) — A South Jersey family went viral on TikTok this holiday season as 10 grandkids, all grown up, showed up one-by-one at their grandparents’ home for a surprise get-together — just like they used to do as kids.

Over 5 million people have seen Tony Sindoni open the door of his home in Berlin, New Jersey, and welcome his grandchildren in with “my favorite people.” There’s Pat, a.k.a. Mom-Mom, hugging each grandkid as they show up in the kitchen with gifts or snacks in tow, and step away, holding her head in her hands, to take it all in.

“We always spent Christmas Eves together in our pajamas, tracking Santa, when he was getting there, all those kinds of things growing up,” Emily Sindoni said. “They made us have so much fun when we were younger. Which is why we had to return it.”

Sindoni and her grandparents spoke with CBS News Philadelphia on Christmas Eve about the tender moment that’s touching hearts all over the internet.

“They used to all come over and we did it all here, but they got so big and we have a small house,” grandpa Tony said.

The return to the holiday tradition all started with a group text about two weeks ago — and then the grandkids started making arrangements.

“Everyone was in, and we all picked the games we were going to bring, or the food, BYOB. People got off of work or they canceled their plans and we just showed up one by one,” Emily said.

The grandkids ranging from ages 18 to 40 brought pizza, drinks and games. And just like when they were kids, they had their holiday pajamas on when they showed up.

“They brought everything, and my house was such a mess,” Pat said. “I was in the middle of making cookies, the mixer, the flour, the sugar was all over. Here they come with all this stuff.”

And for a change, grandma and grandpa got dressed up too.

“Every year when we were younger, they got every cousin a pair of Christmas pajamas,” Emily said. “So I decided, they obviously had to have their own.”

They got them matching Mickey Mouse pajama shirts and bottoms.

Emily said she made the TikTok as sort of a highlight reel of the night for the family to have. But when she sent it to the cousins, she joked they’d be viral by tomorrow.

Then it actually happened. The video now has over 1 million likes and nearly 8,000 comments.

“The comments are so kind, everyone wants to be adopted into our family, it’s been crazy,” Emily said.

“It was unbelievable,” Pat said. “I don’t need another Christmas present the rest of my life. They could never top it.”

“It’s the things you do together, rather than the things that you buy for them. I stood and I realized, they were like little kids again,” Pat added later. “They’ll have those memories forever now, even when toys bought are all gone. You just say thank God for the blessings.”

Please note: This content carries a strict local market embargo. If you share the same market as the contributor of this article, you may not use it on any platform.

Jump to comments ↓

Related Articles

TRAFFIC ALERT: One person dies, one injured after crash at Loop 375 and South Zaragoza

Local nonprofits get over $250,000, GECU Foundation presents check

Chihuahuas top Las Vegas 7-4 to split six-game series

Trump will speak to a christian group that calls for abortion to be ‘eradicated entirely’.

KVIA ABC 7 is committed to providing a forum for civil and constructive conversation.

Please keep your comments respectful and relevant. You can review our Community Guidelines by clicking here

If you would like to share a story idea, please submit it here .

• Central Oregon
• Decision 2024
• Oregon-Northwest
• Crime Stoppers
• KTVZ.COM Polls
• Special Reports
• NewsChannel 21 Investigates
• Ask the Mayor
• Interactive Radar
• Local Forecast
• Road Conditions – Weather Webcams
• Prep Scoreboard
• Livestream Newscasts
• Livestream Special Coverage
• Local Videos
• Photo Galleries
• Senior Sunrise
• 21 Cares For Kids
• Community Billboard
• Community Conversations
• Community Links
• One Class At a Time
• Pay it Forward
• House & Home
• Entertainment
• Events Calendar
• Pump Patrol
• Father’s Day Giveaway 2024
• Central Oregon Backyard Living Photo Contest 2024
• Junior Forecaster
• Pet Pics Sweepstakes
• Sunrise Birthdays
• Submit Tips, Pics and Video
• KTVZ Careers
• Central Oregon Careers
• Email Newsletters
• Advertise with NPG of Oregon
• Careers and Internships
• Closed Captioning
• Download Our Apps
• EEO Public Filing
• FCC Public File
• NewsChannel 21 Team
• On-Air Status
• Receiving KTVZ
• TV Listings

Family goes viral on TikTok as grandkids surprise grandparents for the holidays

By Joe Brandt, Valerie Carr

Click here for updates on this story

    BERLIN, New Jersey ( KYW ) — A South Jersey family went viral on TikTok this holiday season as 10 grandkids, all grown up, showed up one-by-one at their grandparents’ home for a surprise get-together — just like they used to do as kids.

Over 5 million people have seen Tony Sindoni open the door of his home in Berlin, New Jersey, and welcome his grandchildren in with “my favorite people.” There’s Pat, a.k.a. Mom-Mom, hugging each grandkid as they show up in the kitchen with gifts or snacks in tow, and step away, holding her head in her hands, to take it all in.

“We always spent Christmas Eves together in our pajamas, tracking Santa, when he was getting there, all those kinds of things growing up,” Emily Sindoni said. “They made us have so much fun when we were younger. Which is why we had to return it.”

Sindoni and her grandparents spoke with CBS News Philadelphia on Christmas Eve about the tender moment that’s touching hearts all over the internet.

“They used to all come over and we did it all here, but they got so big and we have a small house,” grandpa Tony said.

The return to the holiday tradition all started with a group text about two weeks ago — and then the grandkids started making arrangements.

“Everyone was in, and we all picked the games we were going to bring, or the food, BYOB. People got off of work or they canceled their plans and we just showed up one by one,” Emily said.

The grandkids ranging from ages 18 to 40 brought pizza, drinks and games. And just like when they were kids, they had their holiday pajamas on when they showed up.

“They brought everything, and my house was such a mess,” Pat said. “I was in the middle of making cookies, the mixer, the flour, the sugar was all over. Here they come with all this stuff.”

And for a change, grandma and grandpa got dressed up too.

“Every year when we were younger, they got every cousin a pair of Christmas pajamas,” Emily said. “So I decided, they obviously had to have their own.”

They got them matching Mickey Mouse pajama shirts and bottoms.

Emily said she made the TikTok as sort of a highlight reel of the night for the family to have. But when she sent it to the cousins, she joked they’d be viral by tomorrow.

Then it actually happened. The video now has over 1 million likes and nearly 8,000 comments.

“The comments are so kind, everyone wants to be adopted into our family, it’s been crazy,” Emily said.

“It was unbelievable,” Pat said. “I don’t need another Christmas present the rest of my life. They could never top it.”

“It’s the things you do together, rather than the things that you buy for them. I stood and I realized, they were like little kids again,” Pat added later. “They’ll have those memories forever now, even when toys bought are all gone. You just say thank God for the blessings.”

Please note: This content carries a strict local market embargo. If you share the same market as the contributor of this article, you may not use it on any platform.

Jump to comments ↓

CNN Newsource

Related articles.

Logging accident severely injures Oregon man

3-year-old abducted in California found uninjured in steep canyon, officials say

Breeder offers alternative as legal battle over ann arbor school therapy dog continues.

Gold Rush-era gold nugget worth more than $80k stolen from Long Beach collectibles show

KTVZ NewsChannel 21 is committed to providing a forum for civil and constructive conversation.

Please keep your comments respectful and relevant. You can review our Community Guidelines by clicking here

If you would like to share a story idea, please submit it here .

• Updated Terms of Use
• New Privacy Policy
• Your Privacy Choices
• Closed Caption Policy
• Accessibility Statement

This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. ©2024 FOX News Network, LLC. All rights reserved. Quotes displayed in real-time or delayed by at least 15 minutes. Market data provided by Factset . Powered and implemented by FactSet Digital Solutions . Legal Statement . Mutual Fund and ETF data provided by Refinitiv Lipper .

Pennsylvania grandkids surprise their grandparents with 'adult cousins sleepover' for the holidays

Grandfather and grandmother from selinsgrove, pennsylvania, 'will never forget this' special family moment.

Fox News Flash top headlines for December 15

Fox News Flash top headlines are here. Check out what's clicking on Foxnews.com.

It had been about 20 years since Ronald and Linda George of Pennsylvania had their grandchildren under their roof for a sleepover. 

So most people can imagine why they were "dumbfounded" when five grandkids — all now adults with families of their own — showed up at their door to spend the night.

Amber Hauck, one of the grandkids, told Fox News Digital the idea started as a kind of joke among the cousins. 

NEBRASKA GIRL, 5, ASKS HER GRANDPA TO ACCOMPANY HER TO THE DADDY-DAUGHTER VALENTINE'S DAY DANCE

But when their grandmother had a health scare and was worried as a result, they decided to make it a reality. 

"We picked a date, and made sure we were all good to go," she said. 

Left to right, cousins Jenna Daddario, Amber Hauck, Adam Fisher, Morgan Kratzer and Kelsey Daddario are pictured. Grandparents Linda and Ronald George are sitting behind them on other end. (Amber Hauck)

When the five "kids" ranging in age from 26 to 32 arrived at their grandparents' door, Hauck said her grandmother's initial concern was wondering who was taking care of her 11 great-grandchildren. 

That — and where everyone was going to sleep. 

NEW JERSEY GRANDMOTHER GOES VIRAL FOR RANKING HER 10 GRANDKIDS: ‘JUST BE CAREFUL!’

The majority of the kids slept on the floor — something they were happy to do, Hauck told Fox News Digital. 

"It was just one night," she said. 

All five cousins — ranging in age today from 26 to 32 — surprised their grandparents with a sleepover, just as they used to do when they were kids. (Amber Hauck)

There was a charcuterie board, her grandfather's favorite wine and pizza. 

The grandkids had planned for the group to watch a movie, but they got so involved with a game of dominoes that the movie never happened. 

KENTUCKY WOMAN WITH OVER 230 GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILDREN MEETS GREAT-GREAT-GREAT-GRANDCHILD: SEE THE PHOTO

Linda George said the domino game and the "sitting around the table eating a hearty breakfast talking and laughing about sleepovers when they were little" was the most memorable part of the adult sleepover. 

The grandkids thought it would be fun to watch a movie, but everyone got involved in a friendly game of dominoes — and the film never happened. (Amber Hauck)

The breakfast was prepared by Grandpa Ronald George, something Hauck said that he did when all the cousins were young. 

"We were up at 5:45 a.m. pretending to sleep while he was cooking," she said.

FLORIDA GRANDPA AND GRANDDAUGHTER GO VIRAL ON TIKTOK FOR THIER JOY OVER PRE-SCHOOL PICKUP

Ever since Hauck posted her video of the sleepover on Instagram, it's been liked more than 130,000 times.

She said the comments on the post say others are inspired to do the same. 

Amber Hauck is hoping that others will see how fun this surprise was and that an "adult cousin sleepover" will become a trend. (Amber Hauck)

For Hauck, who works in the nursing home industry and knows the effect of loneliness on the elderly, she hopes "adult cousin sleepovers" becomes a trend.

CLICK HERE TO GET THE FOX NEWS APP

As for her family, they hope to make it a yearly tradition. 

In an email to Fox News Digital, Linda and Ronald George called the night a "wonderful surprise."  

CLICK HERE TO SIGN UP FOR OUR LIFESTYLE NEWSLETTER

The couple wrote in a joint statement, "Loved that these kids did this for us! We will never forget this — love these grandchildren so much!" 

For more Lifestyle articles, visit www.foxnews.com/lifestyle .

Genevieve Shaw Brown is a contributing lifestyle reporter for Fox News Digital.

Fun stories about food, relationships, the great outdoors and more.

You've successfully subscribed to this newsletter!

• Share this —

• Watch Full Episodes
• Read With Jenna
• Inspirational
• Relationships
• TODAY Table
• Newsletters
• Start TODAY
• Shop TODAY Awards
• Citi Concert Series
• Listen All Day

Follow today

More Brands

• On The Show
• TODAY Plaza

People are surprising their grandparents with adult sleepovers in sweet videos

This is so wholesome!

In a new TikTok trend, pajama-clad adults descend on their grandparents' homes unannounced, armed with sleeping bags and snacks, to spend the night. The grandparents' reactions are confusion ... and then utter delight.

On Dec. 20, Pam Fair, 67, was sitting at home in Tupelo, Mississippi, minding her own business when her three grandchildren showed up at her door for a surprise sleepover.

"My daughter Brandi had mentioned that my grandkids wanted to come by that night but (they didn't) so I washed my makeup off and put on my pajamas," Fair tells TODAY.com . "Then the doorbell rang."

In walked Fair's grandchildren, Madelyn, 23, Sydney, 21, and Jakob, 23, accompanied by Madelyn's husband, Russell Betterton, and Sydney's boyfriend, Ryan Davis.

"Surprised their Nana with a sleepover," Brandi captioned her TikTok footage with more than 5 million views. "They haven't done this since they were little."

Brandi tells TODAY.com that Pam's eyes widened when her grandchildren entered carrying pillows and blankets. "She was so excited."

When the grandchildren were young and their mother worked nights as a nurse, sleepovers at Grandmother Pam and Paw-Paw Larry's home were routine. Since Larry died from kidney cancer in May 2012, says Brandi, her mother has been lonely.

"He thought the sun rose and set with those children," adds Pam.

That night, the grandchildren looked at old family photos, laughing at shots of their young parents, and played Bingo. In the morning, Pam cooked everyone biscuits and gravy.

Later, Pam discovered that her grandchildren had sneakily snagged her deck of cards and hid them all around the house. "I found one in a plant and another in a picture frame," she says.

Brandi says the sleepover touched her mom: "She said, 'I will never forget this.'"

Over in Hackettstown, New Jersey, Julia Galluccio and her five cousins plotted to surprise their grandparents Kathleen and Matt Goerke.

"Me and my 19 cousins would sleep at our grandparents' house as children," Galluccio, 23, tells TODAY.com. "I recently showed my brother an old sleepover video, so we got a group text together."

After spending Christmas morning together, six of the grandchildren met up at a local gas station, where they changed into pajamas and bought snacks. An hour later, they returned to their grandparents home, where Julia's mom filmed their arrival.

When Matt opened the door, he was greeted by his six grandchildren, one of whom carried an Xbox. "We got couches, we got bed, we've got everything!" exclaimed Matt.

Julia tells TODAY.com that her grandmother supplied her cousins with robes and they spent the night eating dessert and watching the movie "Klaus."

"My grandparents were so excited," says Julia. "It’s been so long since we’ve been together like this."

Elise Solé is a writer and editor who lives in Los Angeles and covers parenting for TODAY Parents. She was previously a news editor at Yahoo and has also worked at Marie Claire and Women's Health. Her bylines have appeared in Shondaland, SheKnows, Happify and more.

Levi Wright’s mom posts heart-wrenching obituary for son: ‘He was constantly thinking of others’

Joe Biden's kids: All about Beau, Hunter, Naomi and Ashley

Jenna tearfully recalls advice grandfather George H.W. Bush gave her before he died

Pop culture.

All about Jean Smart's kids: Meet Connor and Forrest

Mom faces backlash for explaining why she doesn’t return her shopping cart at the grocery store

Hoda Kotb on the emotions of moving from her kids’ first home: ‘I know it’s just a place’

Mom welcomes ‘the pool counts as a bath season,’ and people are horrified

‘We all want to feel like we belong’: Teen girl’s joy over a rare birthday party invite goes viral

See the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Association's list of ‘hurricane names’ for 2024 and beyond

Is it a boy or girl? Fun and silly old wives' tales about predicting a baby's sex

• Family Dynamics

10 Things to Know About Grandparenting From a Distance

Managing the distance in long-distance relationships with grandchildren..

Updated June 6, 2024 | Reviewed by Ray Parker

• Find a Family Therapy Therapist
• Grandparent–grandchild relationships elevate the lives of each generation.
• Contemporary life can separate grandparents and grandchildren.
• Research on long-distance grandparenting encourages continuity, friendship, and focusing on recent events.

For most of human history, grandparents and grandchildren were close—geographically and emotionally. But today, long-distance grandparenting is becoming increasingly prevalent as grandparents and their grown children (and grandchildren) move away from each other for personal and professional opportunities.

How can grandparents and their grandchildren maintain their personal bonds over distance and time?

1. Forming Friendships. Research on grandparents and older grandchildren documents that both generations define the grandparent-grandchild relationship as a friendship based on mutual trust and shared confidence . Central to this intergenerational friendship is leniency on the part of the grandparents, which shows itself as the near-absence of moral judgments and criticism.

2. Staying Current. Grandparents stay engaged with their grandchildren by focusing on recent events in the grandchildren’s lives. 1

More specifically, a 2021 study at the University of Salzburg showed that young grandchildren were most interested in telling their grandparents about daily activities (reading, meals, hobbies, homework), favorite places (school, a park, a friend’s house), and humorous incidents .

Interestingly, while grandchildren enjoy talking about everyday activities in their own lives, they’re most intrigued about unexpected events in their grandparents’ lives.

The Salzburg study also found that showing effectively augments telling. In video conversations, grandchildren enjoyed showing pets , books, toys, drawings, homemade food, and clothing. They were also eager to sing and play musical instruments for their grandparents.

3. Reminiscing Appropriately. With older grandchildren, reminiscing is welcome with two subjects : what they were like when they were infants and stories about their parents when their parents were kids.

In addition, when grandchildren have specific interests that align with past family events, grandparents can serve as valued resource s for family history. In this case, the past is current. For example, my eldest granddaughter and I have talked at length about an uncle of mine who was a screenwriter because that fits into her ongoing passion for old movies.

4. Diversifying the Channels of Communication. The relationship between grandparents and grandchildren is strengthened when communication is carried out in multiple ways: phone calls, video chats, emails, cards, letters, and, if appropriate, texts.

Even with current technology, grandchildren continue to enjoy receiving cards and letters from their grandparents, and they especially appreciate small gifts at times other than birthdays or gift exchange holidays.

Sibling grandchildren can communicate together, but efforts should also be made to interact with each grandchild individually, particularly when sending cards and texting.

5. Talking About Learning. Younger grandchildren love talking with their grandparents about what they’ve learned —at school or preschool, during home activities with parents, or at extracurricular events. At this time in their lives, they are what they learn, and new ideas and skills are noteworthy.

6. Maintaining Continuity. When grandparents intentionally cultivate stability during their grandchildren’s adolescence , relational closeness remains consistent and strong. Many grandparents naturally show patience with their grandchildren’s adolescent difficulties because they know the turbulence will subside.

As grandchildren move through adolescence, the easy exchange of small messages in texts is particularly valuable for maintaining frequency and continuity. Over the lifespan of the grandparent-grandchild relationship, Facetime, Google Meet, and Zoom support the long-distance relationship by providing immediacy and versatility.

In general, maintaining a long-term relationship with grandchildren requires being supportive of variability. It’s not unusual for a grandchild to be very excited about a new project only to drop that project abruptly and start a new one.

7. Suspending Reciprocity. While reciprocity is something we normally expect in relationships, it’s not necessary when communicating with grandchildren. It’s okay to send unanswered cards. Even without responding, grandchildren appreciate the cards, which often become keepsakes.

8. Expanding the Effects of Visits. By continuing in-person activities remotely, visits can be extended after grandparents return home. My 4-year-old granddaughter and I currently have silly time on Google Meet as an extension of our in-person silly times during my last visit.

9. Savoring During Visits. When visiting, grandparents can actively savor even the smallest interactions with their grandchildren, approaching each experience the way a connoisseur tastes a new glass of wine. With devoted attention , grandparents immerse themselves in the interactions, feeling each one more fully. And later, after returning, they can savor the memories of their visit.

10. Attending to Sadness. Many long-distance grandparents experience undeniable moments of sadness at not seeing their grandchildren grow up. These moments are helpful reminders to reach out by calling, emailing, texting, video chatting, or sending cards and letters—staying close and current in the lives of their grandchildren.

Bangerter, L.R., & Waldron, V.R. (2014). Turning points in long distance grandparent–grandchild relationships. Journal of Aging Studies . 29 , 88–97. A pdf of the full report can be accessed at https://scholar.google.com/scholar?hl=en&as_sdt=0%2C36&q=Turning+points…

Forghani, A. & Neusraedter, C. (2014). The routines and needs of grandparents and parents for grandparent-grandchild conversations over distance. Proceedings of he SIGCHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems. 4177-4186. Abstract: https://dl.acm.org/doi/abs/10.1145/2556288.2557255 Full Text is available at: https://www.researchgate.net/publication/266655480_The_routines_and_needs_of_grandparents_and_parents_for_grandparent-grandchild_conversations_over_distance

Fuchsberger, V., Beuthel, J.M., Bentegeac, P. & Tscheligi,M. (2021). Grandparents and grandchildren meeting online: The role of material things in remote settings. University of Salzburg. Presented at the SIGCHI Conference on Human Factors in Computing Systems. https://dl.acm.org/doi/fullHtml/10.1145/3411764.3445191

Kemp, C.L. (2005). Dimensions of grandparent-adult grandchild relationships: From family ties to intergenerational friendships. Canadian Journal on Aging , 24 (2), pp. 161-177. DOI: https://doi.org/10.1353/cja.2005.0066

Note 1. Children younger than five years old stay with the activities of the current day. Grade-school grandchildren older than five will talk about the past week.

Robert N. Kraft, Ph.D. , is a professor of cognitive psychology at Otterbein University.

• Find a Therapist
• Find a Treatment Center
• Find a Psychiatrist
• Find a Support Group
• Find Online Therapy
• United States
• Brooklyn, NY
• Chicago, IL
• Houston, TX
• Los Angeles, CA
• New York, NY
• Portland, OR
• San Diego, CA
• San Francisco, CA
• Seattle, WA
• Washington, DC
• Asperger's
• Bipolar Disorder
• Chronic Pain
• Eating Disorders
• Passive Aggression
• Personality
• Goal Setting
• Positive Psychology
• Stopping Smoking
• Low Sexual Desire
• Relationships
• Child Development
• Self Tests NEW
• Therapy Center
• Diagnosis Dictionary
• Types of Therapy

At any moment, someone’s aggravating behavior or our own bad luck can set us off on an emotional spiral that threatens to derail our entire day. Here’s how we can face our triggers with less reactivity so that we can get on with our lives.

• Emotional Intelligence
• Gaslighting
• Affective Forecasting
• Neuroscience

Active Grandparents Can Have A Surprising Impact On Parents' Use Of Antidepressants

Parenting reporter

When my youngest child was a toddler, I remember learning that a colleague, who also had a small child, was training for a marathon.

“But... how?” I wondered.

Between full-time work and parenting, just getting dinner on the table in those days required Herculean effort. The idea of adding regular exercise to my schedule felt as distant as another planet.

I eventually found out that my colleague had a secret weapon: A live-in grandmother, available to provide childcare at a moment’s notice.

The impact of grandparents’ support

The support of a grandparent can make a huge difference to a mother’s well-being, even when they’re not living under the same roof. In a study published this year of over 400,000 Finnish mothers of children 12 and under, researchers found that when grandparents were available, mothers were less likely to fill prescriptions for antidepressants.

“ We found that these mothers are less likely to purchase antidepressants if their own parents are younger than 70, employed and do not have severe health problems,” Niina Metsä-Simola, a professor at the University of Helsinki and a lead researcher on the study, told HuffPost. Women whose own parents were still living together, or who lived in proximity to any of their children’s grandparents, were also less likely to use antidepressants.

Of course, not everyone who has depression seeks treatment, and not everyone with a diagnosis of depression takes medication for it. Numbers of prescriptions are just one way to estimate the prevalence of depression in a population.

Maternal grandparents were more likely to have a positive impact than paternal ones. This was not a surprise to researchers, Metsä-Simola said. “It is well-known from previous studies that maternal grandparents, particularly the maternal grandmother, provide more support and are more involved in the lives of their grandchildren as compared to paternal grandparents.”

Another study published this year, for example, found that maternal grandmothers invested in their grandchildren’s lives can protect them from the negative impact of experiencing multiple traumatic events.

Metsä-Simola and her co-authors found that grandparents seemed to have even more of an impact on mothers who were separating from their partners. “Differences in maternal depression by grandparental characteristics were larger among separating than non-separating mothers, particularly during the years before separation,” Metsä-Simola said.

The study didn’t track what kinds of assistance, specifically, that the mothers were receiving from grandparents, but grandparents often provide childcare or financial support.

Several factors affect the likelihood that grandparents are able to help: age, employment and health status. “Our findings suggest that grandparental characteristics associated with increased potential for providing support and decreased need of receiving support predict a lower likelihood of maternal depression, particularly among mothers about to separate,” Metsä-Simola said.

Finland, where the study took place, offers significantly more support to parents than the U.S. Kela, the Finnish social insurance institution, provides new parents with 320 days of paid parental leave to divide between them. In addition, families all receive a “ child benefit ” check — the amount determined by the number of children they have — every month until a child turns 17.

Since the study was conducted in a place that assists parents with money and childcare, the impact of grandparents’ support may go beyond that.

“The findings suggest that support exchanges across generations matter for maternal depression, even in the context of a Nordic welfare state,” Metsä-Simola said.

While this study was limited to the effects of grandparents’ support on mothers, we can be fairly certain that those benefits extended to children as well, since we know that kids do better when their moms are not depressed.

“The association between maternal depression and adverse child outcomes is well-established,” Metsä-Simola said.

Ways that grandparents can help

A grandparent’s support can begin upon a baby’s arrival. “Grandparents who have a strong relationship with their children are uniquely positioned to offer invaluable support during the fragile post-birth period,” Princess McKinney-Kirk, a postpartum doula and the author of a book about postpartum belly-binding, told HuffPost.

“Isolation and lack of support is one of the biggest precursors for postpartum depression,” she said, noting that traditional postpartum care rituals from around the world provide precisely that kind of support. In its absence, or in the absence of sufficient nutrition or sleep, new parents are more likely to experience problems such as “brain fog, anxiety, baby blues, mood disorders, and prolonged recovery,” McKinney-Kirk said.

“Oftentimes grandparents bring a deeper layer of connection and comfort for a new mom,” McKinney-Kirk said. “Their involvement can significantly enhance the well-being of both the mother and the newborn, providing crucial support that fosters a healthy mother-baby relationship.”

In addition to offering words of encouragement and “gentle guidance (when asked),” she suggested the following ways for grandparents to offer postpartum support to new parents:

Cook favorite meals and freeze during your visit, or give gift cards to restaurants or meal delivery services (not the ones that require cooking)

Do chores like folding laundry, washing dishes, or taking out the trash.

Provide childcare for older siblings.

Offer to hold the baby so that a parent can take a shower or eat a meal with two hands.

Pay for the parent to receive recovery care, perhaps from a lactation counselor, physical therapist, acupuncturist, chiropractor or psychologist.

McKinney-Kirk emphasized that part of caring for a new baby means caring for the person who has just given birth.

Popular in the Community

From our partner, huffpost shopping’s best finds, more in life.

• Yekaterinburg
• Novosibirsk
• Vladivostok

• Tours to Russia
• Practicalities
• Russia in Lists

Rusmania • Deep into Russia

Out of the Centre

Savvino-storozhevsky monastery and museum.

Zvenigorod's most famous sight is the Savvino-Storozhevsky Monastery, which was founded in 1398 by the monk Savva from the Troitse-Sergieva Lavra, at the invitation and with the support of Prince Yury Dmitrievich of Zvenigorod. Savva was later canonised as St Sabbas (Savva) of Storozhev. The monastery late flourished under the reign of Tsar Alexis, who chose the monastery as his family church and often went on pilgrimage there and made lots of donations to it. Most of the monastery’s buildings date from this time. The monastery is heavily fortified with thick walls and six towers, the most impressive of which is the Krasny Tower which also serves as the eastern entrance. The monastery was closed in 1918 and only reopened in 1995. In 1998 Patriarch Alexius II took part in a service to return the relics of St Sabbas to the monastery. Today the monastery has the status of a stauropegic monastery, which is second in status to a lavra. In addition to being a working monastery, it also holds the Zvenigorod Historical, Architectural and Art Museum.

Belfry and Neighbouring Churches

Located near the main entrance is the monastery's belfry which is perhaps the calling card of the monastery due to its uniqueness. It was built in the 1650s and the St Sergius of Radonezh’s Church was opened on the middle tier in the mid-17th century, although it was originally dedicated to the Trinity. The belfry's 35-tonne Great Bladgovestny Bell fell in 1941 and was only restored and returned in 2003. Attached to the belfry is a large refectory and the Transfiguration Church, both of which were built on the orders of Tsar Alexis in the 1650s.  

To the left of the belfry is another, smaller, refectory which is attached to the Trinity Gate-Church, which was also constructed in the 1650s on the orders of Tsar Alexis who made it his own family church. The church is elaborately decorated with colourful trims and underneath the archway is a beautiful 19th century fresco.

Nativity of Virgin Mary Cathedral

The Nativity of Virgin Mary Cathedral is the oldest building in the monastery and among the oldest buildings in the Moscow Region. It was built between 1404 and 1405 during the lifetime of St Sabbas and using the funds of Prince Yury of Zvenigorod. The white-stone cathedral is a standard four-pillar design with a single golden dome. After the death of St Sabbas he was interred in the cathedral and a new altar dedicated to him was added.

Under the reign of Tsar Alexis the cathedral was decorated with frescoes by Stepan Ryazanets, some of which remain today. Tsar Alexis also presented the cathedral with a five-tier iconostasis, the top row of icons have been preserved.

Tsaritsa's Chambers

The Nativity of Virgin Mary Cathedral is located between the Tsaritsa's Chambers of the left and the Palace of Tsar Alexis on the right. The Tsaritsa's Chambers were built in the mid-17th century for the wife of Tsar Alexey - Tsaritsa Maria Ilinichna Miloskavskaya. The design of the building is influenced by the ancient Russian architectural style. Is prettier than the Tsar's chambers opposite, being red in colour with elaborately decorated window frames and entrance.

At present the Tsaritsa's Chambers houses the Zvenigorod Historical, Architectural and Art Museum. Among its displays is an accurate recreation of the interior of a noble lady's chambers including furniture, decorations and a decorated tiled oven, and an exhibition on the history of Zvenigorod and the monastery.

Palace of Tsar Alexis

The Palace of Tsar Alexis was built in the 1650s and is now one of the best surviving examples of non-religious architecture of that era. It was built especially for Tsar Alexis who often visited the monastery on religious pilgrimages. Its most striking feature is its pretty row of nine chimney spouts which resemble towers.

Plan your next trip to Russia

Ready-to-book tours.

Your holiday in Russia starts here. Choose and book your tour to Russia.

REQUEST A CUSTOMISED TRIP

Looking for something unique? Create the trip of your dreams with the help of our experts.

Ron DeSantis makes a surprise visit to the southern border

SIERRA VISTA, Ariz. — Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis will make his first trip to the U.S. southern border as a presidential candidate Wednesday, thrusting himself into the increasingly volatile immigration debate as the Republican field in the 2024 campaign grows. 

DeSantis will meet Cochise County Sheriff Mark Dannels and other law enforcement officials in Sierra Vista, according to Jeremy Redfern, the governor's press secretary. Like DeSantis, Dannels has been an outspoken critic of President Joe Biden’s border policies.

DeSantis is visiting as the immigration battle intensifies during the start of the GOP primary campaign. He has been staking out a position to the right of former President Donald Trump, whose focus on immigration in his first campaign in 2016 and during his presidency endeared him to his conservative base. 

DeSantis repeatedly praised Trump for his border policies — notably in a tweet in 2021 — but he has recently sought to contrast himself with Trump, arguing that the former president did not do enough during his four years in office to strengthen border security.

The pro-Trump super PAC MAGA Inc. highlighted this tweet in its statement about DeSantis' trip to the border Wednesday.

"President Donald Trump’s immigration policies kept Americans safe, just ask Ron DeSantis," the statement read.

A Florida official confirmed Tuesday that the state arranged for migrants to fly to Sacramento, California, over the last week, following days of accusations from California leaders. A spokesperson for Florida’s Division of Emergency Management said in a written statement that the migrants all went of their own free will, stating, “Through verbal and written consent, these volunteers indicated they wanted to go to California.”

California Gov. Gavin Newsom told NBC's "TODAY" show Tuesday that he believes Florida officials committed crimes in sending the migrants to his state and that he will be investigating the matter. 

DeSantis has not commented on the most recent flights, but on the campaign trail he has touted other controversial migrant relocations last year that Florida helped arrange from Texas to Martha’s Vineyard, a wealthy vacation spot in Massachusetts. Last month, he signed a sweeping crackdown on illegal immigration that the Republican-led Florida Legislature passed that included $12 million for similar migrant relocation flights. 

DeSantis’ surprise trip to Arizona — a crucial swing state — follows stops in Iowa, New Hampshire and South Carolina. Later this week, he is scheduled to attend several fundraisers in several Texas cities, stop in Oklahoma and speak at the North Carolina Republican Party convention, before he heads to Nevada next Saturday.

The Biden administration has faced backlash from even Democratic mayors of large cities — most notably Eric Adams of New York — for the recent influx of migrants, which has strained shelter space across the country. 

The number of border apprehensions over the past year has been at record highs. But the latest figures from Customs and Border Protection show that apprehensions have dropped more than 70% since the end of Title 42, the Covid-era health policy that made it easier for the federal government to expel asylum-seekers. 

Critics of the Biden administration had warned that the opposite — a massive new influx of migrants at the border — would happen after the policy ended. While there was an uptick immediately after Title 42 ended on May 11, the numbers quickly leveled off and then fell drastically. 

Cochise County — a historic mining region in the Old West that includes the site of Wyatt Earp’s notorious gunfight at the OK Corral — now hosts another battle, this time over immigration. It’s become a welcome place for conservative politicians to sound off about what they see as weak border policies.

In recent years, House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, R-Calif., and unsuccessful Arizona GOP gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake have had photo-ops in the area. DeSantis has not traveled here before, but he did send law enforcement personnel to Arizona in 2021 at the request of the governor, his office said.

Separately, DeSantis sent more than 1,100 Florida National Guard members and law enforcement personnel to Texas last month to help with Operation Lone Star, a border initiative led by Gov. Greg Abbott.

Gabe Gutierrez is a senior White House correspondent for NBC News.

• Search Please fill out this field.
• Manage Your Subscription
• Give a Gift Subscription
• Newsletters
• Sweepstakes
• Entertainment

Kendrick Lamar Gives Surprise Speech at Compton College Graduation Ceremony

The 'Like That' rapper paid a visit to his hometown's college for his first public appearance since his feud with Drake

Charlotte Phillipp is a Weekend Writer-Reporter at PEOPLE. She has been working at PEOPLE since 2024, and was previously an entertainment reporter at The Messenger.

Compton College/YouTube

Kendrick Lamar  is honoring his hometown with a surprise appearance at a college graduation ceremony.

On Saturday, June 8, the seventeen-time  Grammy winner, 36, stopped by Compton College's graduation in Compton, Calif., to address the 2024 graduating class and share some words of wisdom as they prepare to make their mark on the world.

"I wanted to come out here just to tell y’all how much I appreciate y’all. I’m proud of the city of Compton, I’m proud of Compton College, most importantly I'm proud of the graduates out here,” Lamar opened his speech.

Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty

"I know what it takes. You had a lot of hardship, not only in your house, in your communities, but most importantly, within yourself, and that's the toughest thing to overcome," he continued, addressing the graduates. "We still growing day by day, brick by brick, making sure that we develop, not only in physical form but in the spiritual as well."

“Seeing y'all out here, it is not only a representation of the world, but it’s a representation of me. When I walk out in these cities, in these countries, I can be proud and say, 'This is where I’m from,' " he said.

Lamar continued to speak about his love for Compton, and also took time to address the members of Gen Z in the graduating class about to enter the working world.

The PEOPLE Puzzler crossword is here! How quickly can you solve it? Play now !

"Some people tell us, 'This generation, they don't have what it takes, Gen Z,' " the "Like That" rapper said. "We talk about it all day. They try to pull us down and say we don't know what we're doing. They wrong, though. You know why, because not only y'all have what it takes, but y'all have something even bigger. Y'all have the heart, y'all have the courage to be independent thinkers."

Lamar continued: "Now it's all about taking these resources and taking what you learned and applying. It's as simple as that. You'll have hardships, you gonna have tribulations as you had coming up here, but guess what? You have someone special in your corner and all around you and that's God, period. Every step of the way."

Never miss a story — sign up for PEOPLE's free daily newsletter to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer​​, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. 

Lamar's speech marks his first major public appearance since his feud with Drake began dominating headlines and the rap charts. One of his diss tracks against the "First Person Shooter" musician , "Not Like Us," has been topping the Billboard Hot 100 chart for a month since it was released on May 4.

Vaughn Ridley/NBAE via Getty

Drake and Lamar's exchange of diss tracks first began when Lamar joined forces with  Future  and Metro Boomin for "Like That." In the song, Lamar took aim at  J. Cole  and  Drake , prompting quick responses from both of the musicians, and several more disses exchanged between Drake and Lamar over the course of the last month.

The father of two also recently set his first concert date since the feud began . On June 19, Lamar is set to perform at a one-night-only "Ken and Friends" show put on by pgLang and Free Lunch called The Pop Out. The concert will take place at the Kia Forum in Inglewood, Calif. Doors open at 4 p.m.

Related Articles

• Skip to main content
• Keyboard shortcuts for audio player

Investigations

These disabled people tried to play by the rules. it cost them their federal benefits.

Joseph Shapiro

Supplemental Security Income rules can limit the people the program is meant to help

Karen Williams (left) holds hands with her daughter, Lena Powell, while walking through St. Michael's Lutheran Churchyard in Philadelphia. Williams, who is disabled, bought a life insurance policy to pay for her funeral, but it caused her to lose access to Supplemental Security Income (SSI) benefit checks that she relies on to pay bills. Kriston Jae Bethel for NPR hide caption

The thing that got Karen Williams into trouble was that she tried to do the responsible thing and bought a life insurance policy that would pay for her funeral.

The Philadelphia woman had seen family members scramble to find money — begging friends or starting GoFundMe campaigns — to pay the high cost of burying a loved one. Williams didn’t want to burden her children.

She had no idea that buying that insurance would get her caught up in an antiquated federal rule — an “asset limit” — that snares more than 100,000 of America’s poorest disabled and elderly every year, often with dire consequences.

Williams, who is disabled and doesn’t work, relied upon a little-known federal assistance program — Supplemental Security Income, or SSI, run by the Social Security Administration. It sends monthly benefit checks — the average amount is $698 — to 7.4 million of the nation’s neediest disabled and elderly people to help them pay for rent, food, medicine and other everyday needs.

A mother has been able to care for her son with SSI. But the program also limits them

The program, started 51 years ago but updated little since then, is hampered by out-of-date rules, such as the limit on assets.

Williams, 63, thought her life insurance wouldn’t be used until after she died. She didn’t understand it had a cash value and that she could turn it in and collect $1,900. That was far less than the $10,000 in funeral expenses she bought the policy to cover when she died.

For Williams, the cash value of her policy along with the $260 she had saved in her checking account pushed her over SSI’s $2,000 limit on how much a recipient is allowed in savings and other assets.

That $2,000 asset limit hasn’t changed since 1989. If it had kept up over 51 years with inflation, it would be $10,000 today.

“I would have definitely went by the rules,” Williams says. “I didn’t know I was breaking them.”

Williams did not realize there was a cash value of $1,900 for her insurance policy. That, combined with $260 in her savings, put her over the asset limit of $2,000, which kicked her off the SSI program. Kriston Jae Bethel for NPR hide caption

The penalty was stiff: Williams was kicked off SSI, her primary source of income, and told by Social Security to pay back two years of benefits totaling $20,385.

She had 30 days to pay it back.

“The impact of it is just cruel,” says Kathleen Romig.

Romig recently went to work as a senior adviser to the commissioner of Social Security. She works on making programs like SSI fairer to children.

When NPR interviewed her last year, she wasn’t speaking for Social Security or SSI. She worked at a Washington think tank, the Center on Budget and Policy Priorities, as the director of Social Security and disability policy, where she wrote about raising SSI’s asset limit or ending it altogether.

“SSI is stuck in the past,” Romig said. “It’s hardly been changed over 50 years.”

An NPR investigation finds SSI is deeply in need of modernization.

It was intended to lift people out of poverty when it was created in 1972 and started paying benefits for the first time in 1974.

Instead, because of the asset limit and other rigid and rusty rules, SSI has become a forgotten safety net that keeps many of its recipients stuck in poverty.

NPR interviewed roughly 200 people, including those who depend upon SSI, lawyers who help them, experts who study SSI and poverty, Social Security officials, staff and others. Among our findings:

—SSI’s asset limit and other rules are so out of date that many of the poorest Americans — who most need SSI — are excluded from the program.

—Largely because of the asset limit, SSI sends out benefit checks to impoverished beneficiaries, but then often, months or years later, tells them there’s been a mistake and that they need to pay back the money, which it calls “overpayments.”

—SSI’s asset limit and other rules impose a substantial “marriage penalty” on recipients, forcing many to skip marriage or lose benefits when they do marry.

—For many, the marriage penalty comes with even more calamitous results than losing a monthly benefit check. Many beneficiaries depend on the Medicaid eligibility that is automatic in most states for someone who qualifies for SSI, but then risk losing Medicaid if they marry.

—Social Security is not up to the task of administering such a complex system. After years of budget constraints imposed by Congress, it is understaffed and hurt by an antiquated computer system and the extreme administrative burden of calculating the asset limit and other SSI rules.

A surprise in Philadelphia

In Philadelphia, Karen Williams was caught off guard when, in 2019, she got a letter from Social Security telling her she needed to come to the local office.

That’s where Williams was told she was over the $2,000 limit on assets. And that she had been for a long time.

Someone at Social Security had noticed she’d accumulated the $260 in her checking account and had spotted her life insurance policy with its $1,900 cash value.

Williams was caught off guard when she was told she had 30 days to repay over $20,000 in SSI benefits because her life insurance policy put her over the asset limit. Kriston Jae Bethel for NPR hide caption

Social Security staff knew about the policy because Williams told them about it. When someone gets approved for SSI, they give Social Security the right to check their bank accounts and monitor other records of assets .

She had purchased the policy before she went onto SSI and used her SSI benefits check to pay the premium, according to Williams and her attorneys.

At the Social Security office, Williams was told she’d been over the asset limit for the previous two years. As a result, she was issued an “overpayment” notice to pay back all the benefit checks she’d received in that time.

She owed $20,385. And she had 30 days to pay it back.

But that was impossible.

Williams was impoverished. She was disabled and didn’t work. That’s why she had qualified for SSI.

“You’re telling me I owe you $20,000?” Williams remembers thinking in the Social Security office. “I can’t even pay my bills. … Where am I going to live?”

Social Security allows a few exceptions to what gets counted as an asset. A recipient and their immediate family living with them can own one car and a home. There are ways to put money into trusts or get waivers, but that’s tricky and often requires hiring a lawyer. There’s an exception for “burial insurance,” but insurance for funerals often is sold as life insurance, like the policy Williams bought.

Gregory Burrell is the president and CEO of the Terry Funeral Home, located in West Philadelphia. He let Williams turn the insurance policy over to the funeral home. Kriston Jae Bethel for NPR hide caption

Williams said Social Security workers gave her contradictory — and even wrong — advice about how she could resolve the issue with the policy to cover her funeral expenses.

Ultimately, she sought out the help of Gregory Burrell, president and CEO of the Terry Funeral Home, an institution in West Philadelphia that has served Black families for generations.

Burrell let Williams turn the policy over to the funeral home.

“We see that all the time,” Burrell, a former president of the National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association, the largest group of Black funeral directors, said of the confusion that caught Williams. “Unfortunately, people don’t know any better. And they’re stressing, and these insurance policies — they’re considered assets.”

Burrell and Williams talked about how their own parents and grandparents purchased burial insurance, putting aside small amounts — sometimes just 50 cents a month — to hand the agent who regularly knocked on the door and initialed their savings book to note the payment.

A man walks past Terry Funeral Home, which has served Black families for generations in West Philadelphia. Kriston Jae Bethel for NPR hide caption

It was one of the few kinds of insurance Black families could buy, and both Burrell and Williams say seeing their parents and grandparents saving taught them the importance of financial responsibility.

It was deeply embarrassing for Williams when she lost her SSI checks. It was the middle of the pandemic. She got by with help from her children and friends.

She says the stress of losing her SSI check, her primary source of income, led to health problems, including two hospitalizations for heart attacks.

Williams found a lawyer at Community Legal Services of Philadelphia who helped her challenge the big bill she got from SSI.

Last year, Social Security conceded it made a mistake and had not properly told Williams of her right to appeal. Her lawyers asked for and won the agency’s agreement to waive the $20,385 overpayment. But then, her lawyers say, the agency ignored its own decision and reissued the overpayment charge.

The attorneys appealed again and the order to pay is now on hold. In addition, her lawyers were able to move Williams to a different Social Security retirement program, one without an asset limit, and she started receiving benefits again.

But Williams still feels stress over not knowing whether she will still be expected to repay that money she doesn’t have.

Williams smiles as her daughter, Lena Powell, holds her face while they share a coffee. When Williams lost her SSI checks, she got by with help from her children and friends. Kriston Jae Bethel for NPR hide caption

If this sounds confusing, it is. And her case shows that SSI’s asset limits and rules are so complex that not even Social Security’s staff can always get things right. Recipients usually need to find an attorney to help them negotiate the process.

But attorneys are hard for poor people to afford or find. Also, few lawyers take SSI cases because Social Security puts a low cap on how much they can earn from such cases.

“It’s really tiresome. I am so, so through with this,” Williams says. “And I can believe that a lot of people just give up.”

The worthless timeshare and the Holocaust reparations check

An average of 70,000 beneficiaries have their benefits suspended every year, according to Romig, the policy expert now at the Social Security Administration, and 40,000 have their benefits terminated.

The low asset limit, Romig says, penalizes people when they try to save.

“We know that saving is good,” she says. “We know that we can use savings to invest in things that can make people’s lives better — for example, education or safe and stable housing. We know that saving is necessary for that. And yet we’re prohibiting some of the poorest, most vulnerable people from doing just that.”

Jennifer Burdick, an attorney at Community Legal Services of Philadelphia, says the low asset limit traps people in poverty. “You need to be poor and stay poor in order to get these benefits,” she says. “It’s a disincentive against saving and being responsible in this way. It’s a disgrace.”

Burdick once represented a family that needed to fix the roof that collapsed on their house and took a small loan from a friend. Social Security counted the loan as an asset and cut off the benefits that went to the family’s disabled son.

NPR heard dozens of similar stories from SSI recipients and their lawyers, of people desperately in need of the government benefits who got kicked off or couldn’t get on because they couldn’t stay under the low asset limit.

Peter Balletti of Deer Park, N.Y., fought for years to get on SSI — after he was denied because he still owned a "worthless" timeshare in the Poconos with his ex-wife. He tried to sell it, but could find no buyers. Joseph Shapiro/NPR hide caption

Peter Balletti of Deer Park, N.Y., fought Social Security for years after he was denied SSI benefits because he owns a timeshare in the Poconos, one that he argued is worthless.

He tried to sell it, without success, and showed proof to Social Security. One obstacle to selling it: He owns it with his ex-wife. The best he can offer a buyer is 3 ½ days of the week she uses it.

But he said Social Security staff in Long Island insisted that he needs to sell it. “That’s what I was told by my caseworker there,” Balletti says. “Because you still have the timeshare, you’re ineligible. Period. Have a nice day.”

An Illinois man, who asked to be anonymous for fear of retaliation, told us he feels trapped living in his unsafe and run-down apartment because when he saved up for the down payment on a new place, Social Security said he was over the asset limit and moved to end his SSI.

A Holocaust survivor in Virginia received a reparations check from Germany last year, and when Social Security spotted the extra money in his bank account, it moved to end his SSI. Holocaust reparations are excluded from calculating federal benefits , but it took the intervention of an attorney to sort it out.

Stacey Ramirez's autistic son, Ryan, suddenly stopped receiving his SSI checks last year. Social Security claimed Ryan was over the asset limit, but Ramirez says the agency made an error. Alyssa Pointer for NPR hide caption

In Georgia, Stacey Ramirez says Social Security suddenly stopped sending SSI checks to her 29-year-old autistic son, Ryan, last year. The agency, in a letter, said its review found $1,400 in two bank accounts. But Ramirez says Social Security got it wrong and there were no accounts in her son’s name or Social Security number at those banks, something she says the banks confirmed to her.

Still, Social Security demanded that her son repay three months of SSI checks, a total of $2,742. Then, Ramirez says, just as mysteriously and without notice, Ryan was put back on SSI and sent three checks — for exactly $2,742. But Social Security still demanded repayment of $2,742.

Ramirez says her son was able to stay in his apartment only because his family had money to pay his rent when his income was cut off.

One irony: Ramirez and her husband, Dan Crimmins, are professional disability consultants who help other families apply for SSI benefits.

Ramirez sits with son Ryan (center) and husband Dan Crimmins. Stacey and Dan are both professional disability consultants who work with other families on applying for SSI benefits — but they had difficulty making SSI work for Ryan. Alyssa Pointer for NPR hide caption

Social Security eventually relented after Ramirez documented months of research and calls to multiple agency staffers.

“The system is so broken,” says Ramirez. “It can’t support itself, much less … the people who desperately need the support.”

Fifty-one years ago, an innovative approach to poverty

SSI’s origins go back to Richard Nixon. In 1969, the Republican president proposed replacing the existing federal welfare system with a guaranteed basic income — of monthly vouchers — to impoverished Americans.

Nixon’s plan faced opposition from many conservatives and liberals and after three years of revisions failed to get through Congress.

But one part of Nixon’s plan survived and became Supplemental Security Income, a monthly benefit to disabled, blind and elderly poor people. These were considered the “deserving poor.”

SSI was an early version of what, in the last few years, has become an increasingly popular strategy for fighting poverty: to provide impoverished people with a guaranteed monthly income.

There are now some 150 of these guaranteed income experiments — sponsored mostly by philanthropies and sometimes by state or local government — that have spread across the country in just the last few years.

SSI is the “OG guaranteed income plan,” says Rebecca Vallas of the nonpartisan National Academy of Social Insurance, using slang for “original gangster” to refer to SSI as the original guaranteed income program.

The new experiments show where SSI, with its many strings attached, went wrong, she says, “with all of its dehumanizing and hyper-restrictive eligibility criteria.”

For most people, those monthly SSI checks provide “survival income,” Vallas says. “This is money that people spend on rent. This is money that people spend on food, on co-pays on their medications, on their kids’ basic needs. That’s where the money goes.”

Today, 7.4 million people receive those monthly SSI benefits .

Only 43% of those who apply get accepted for SSI. A Social Security Administration office determines whether an applicant meets the asset limit. A state “disability determination service” officer determines whether the person’s disability is significant enough to limit work and other basic life activities.

The wait times to get approved for disability benefits are long — almost doubling during the pandemic when Social Security closed its offices. One congressional report found that some 10,000 people die every year while they wait to get on SSI or a disability program for people with work history.

Of those who collect SSI benefits , 84% are eligible because of a significant disability . There are 1 million children who receive SSI benefits. A U.S. Supreme Court ruling in 1990 expanded eligibility for children . Policy changes in 1984 expanded eligibility for people with mental illness.

In addition, a little more than 2 million impoverished people 65 or older get SSI.

As SSI expanded to include more children and people with mental illness, critics worried that the program was growing too quickly and encouraged people to depend upon federal welfare. SSI’s rolls peaked a decade ago and then fell after Congress and Social Security tightened eligibility reviews — and kept the low asset limit in place.

Jack Smalligan, a senior policy fellow at the Urban Institute, says SSI serves the poorest of the poor. More than half have no other income . As a result, he says, those who get SSI gain a lot; sometimes it lifts families out of poverty .

They also have a lot to lose if they get kicked off.

Smalligan’s research colleague Chantel Boyens says that for the poorest Americans, SSI can be more critical than other government assistance programs. Those may pay for food or energy bills. But “SSI is your monthly income,” she says. “It’s what you live on. … ‘If I lose it, do I have a roof over my head for my kids?’ The stakes for SSI are very high.”

One absurdity of SSI’s assets limit, says Boyens, is that people lose SSI benefits when “they’re still below the poverty line.”

A disproportionate number of recipients are African American and Latino . Among work-age recipients of SSI, 32.8% are Black. For children, 36.8% are Black and 26.2% are Latino. People of color on SSI are even more poor than white recipients.

SSI, a $61 billion program in 2023 , is funded out of general tax revenues. It is not funded by the trust funds that support better-known parts of Social Security, like the checks it sends 53 million retirees and their dependents, or Social Security Disability Insurance (SSDI), which supports 8.5 million people who leave the workforce because of a disability.

Unlike SSI’s frozen rules, the amount of the monthly benefits check does change from year to year, to reflect inflation. In 2024, the maximum monthly benefit is $943 for an individual and $1,415 for a couple . The average benefit for an individual is $698.

Most states and the District of Columbia add a small supplement — an average of $145 in 2022 — to a disabled or older person’s SSI check.

When SSI was created, Congress said its purpose was to “provide a positive assurance that the Nation’s aged, blind, and disabled people would no longer have to subsist on below poverty level incomes.”

But today, the maximum SSI check takes recipients to just 75% of the poverty line .

The asset limit was controversial from the beginning. “There seems to be a strong element of punishment associated with these tests,” an economist wrote in a review of SSI commissioned by Congress on the program’s 10th anniversary . Recipients of SSI, he said, “are required to enter into a state of pauperization with all its negative aspects.This is done as a punishment for having to seek help from the rest of society and as a warning (and hence deterrent) to others.”

Katie Savin, an assistant professor of social work at California State University, Sacramento, says now SSI’s stalled asset limit adds to that stigma. “People must limit their own opportunities for work and marriage, submit to continuous surveillance of their finances, health and personal affairs and survive on poverty-level income without ever having more than $2,000 in assets,” Savin says.

Till Social Security do us part

Last year, Gabriella Garbero of St. Louis passed the bar. She opened her own law firm, but quickly had to stop taking paying clients.

“I really had to limit what I was doing and I haven’t taken on any new cases because I’m really afraid,” she says.

Gabriella Garbero poses for a portrait outside her home. She received her law degree from Saint Louis University School of Law and passed the bar in 2023. But she has not been able to take on new clients because it will likely put her over the SSI asset limit. Neeta Satam for NPR hide caption

She’s afraid of something that other lawyers don’t have to worry about: that she’ll make too much money.

Which, in her case, means just $2,000 — the SSI asset limit.

Garbero was born with spinal muscular atrophy, a condition that causes weakened muscles.

Nurses come to Garbero’s home, 12 hours every day. Personal care assistants are scheduled, when she can find them, several hours more.

“I’m not able to do any of my own care. So brushing my teeth, washing my face, give me a shower,” she says. “Just all the basics that you physically do for yourself.”

Most importantly, she requires nurses and aides to run and monitor the technology that keeps her healthy and out of the hospital or a nursing home.

There’s her feeding tube and the ventilator that keeps her breathing at night.

She needs a nurse to operate the machine that suctions her lungs, several times a day.

Without that assistance, “I would just be dead,” says Garbero. “There’s not really another way I could function.”

But it’s all tied to SSI.

In most states, someone who is eligible for SSI is automatically qualified for Medicaid, the state and federal health insurance for people with little income.

It’s Medicaid that pays for Garbero’s nurses and aides. Private insurance, the kind that people get through work, typically won’t cover in-home personal care assistants and nurses.

Garbero’s only other option would be to make enough money to pay for her aides and nurses out of her own pocket. But the cost for the level of assistance she gets, Garbero calculates, would run between $100,000 and $200,000 a year. She doubts she could make that much.

So to keep her SSI and the Medicaid that’s tied to it, Garbero is required to stay under the $2,000 asset limit.

Garbero is 33. She was born six months after President George H.W. Bush signed the Americans with Disabilities Act into law in 1990, proclaiming: “Let the shameful wall of exclusion finally come tumbling down.”

Garbero has spinal muscular atrophy and requires nurses and aides for everyday care. She needs to maintain her SSI benefits in order to qualify for Medicaid, which pays for the care that keeps her healthy and out of the hospital or a nursing home. Neeta Satam for NPR hide caption

When SSI was created in 1972, there were very different — and much lower — expectations for the lives of disabled people.

SSI, for example, predates the law passed in 1975 that first gave disabled people the right to go to school and get an education. Before then, more than 1 million disabled children were excluded from schools.

SSI came years before the ADA, which banned discrimination at work, on public transportation or access to public places like going to restaurants and movie theaters.

“We have made a lot of progress over the last 50 years as disabled people,” Garbero says. “We went from being mostly institutionalized, not going to school … not going to public places.”

Still, there’s one basic right that Garbero misses — solely because she needs SSI.

She can’t marry, without substantial risk.

It is difficult for someone who gets an SSI check to marry and stay under the asset limit — because a spouse’s income is counted.

Where a single person on SSI is allowed up to $2,000 in assets, the limit for a couple is only $3,000.

That’s another limit that hasn’t budged since 1989. (Both asset limits, for individuals and couples, were raised by Congress in 1984 — from $1,500 for an individual and $2,250 for a couple — but the new levels didn’t take effect until 1989.)

NPR interviewed dozens of people who said their only options were to marry and lose SSI, marry and then lie about their relationship, or to close themselves off from a romantic relationship altogether.

Garbero has been involved with her partner, Juan Johnson, for several years — but they can’t make plans to marry.

She’d like that commitment. Plus, she grew up in a religious family where marriage is important.

Several years ago, Garbero says her caseworker at Social Security “asked if we were sharing a bedroom.”

Garbero ducked the question. “My heart was pounding when she asked that because I didn’t know if I was about to get in trouble,” she says.

The caseworker dropped the issue. But Garbero says she realized the government worker “had all the power over my life that she could ever want.”

Garbero looks at her partner, Juan Johnson, outside their home. The two would like to get married, but their combined income would exceed the SSI $3,000 asset limit for a couple. The limit has not changed since 1989. Neeta Satam for NPR hide caption

Under Social Security’s rules, a couple doesn’t need to be legally married for a disabled person to lose SSI. Just living as if they’re married, called “ holding out ,” is enough to get counted as a couple under the $3,000 asset limit.

One woman, who asked to stay anonymous, told NPR she married but then divorced her husband to stay on SSI. Currently, the man doesn’t work and does a lot of her caregiving. They still spend most of the time together, but they keep separate apartments. When the woman’s state caseworker comes for a visit, she says she takes down all the photographs of her with her partner.

Social Security said it could not provide data of how many people lose SSI for violating the “holding out” rule or for marrying. NPR could not find recent examples of people who lost their SSI for living as a couple, but found dozens of disabled people who hide relationships or say they avoid them altogether.

“Nobody should be afraid to say they’re in a relationship with somebody,” says Garbero, comparing the situation to the fight for the legalization of interracial marriage in 1967 and marriage for same-sex couples in 2015.

In law school, Garbero wrote a law review article about SSI’s so-called marriage penalty. “The choice disabled people must make is always simple: it is a choice between marital happiness and medical necessity,” she concluded.

“The American Dream is supposed to be open to everyone, regardless of status, and achieving it includes having a fully formed family to come home to at the end of the day.”

A 50% tax and when kindness creates risk

SSI’s low asset limit is the most common cause of overpayments, says Romig.

Social Security reported $4.6 billion in overpayments in fiscal year 2023.

Martin O’Malley, the new commissioner of Social Security, revealed the extent of those overpayments when he told a congressional committee in March that 1.3 million people — 1 out of every 6 people who rely upon SSI — got an overpayment notice last year.

Often, he said, they and others on various Social Security programs get charged an overpayment for “no fault of their own” and that the agency uses “brutal” methods to get the money back.

In March, O’Malley announced some preliminary steps to make it easier for people to challenge SSI overpayments. The burden of proof will now fall on Social Security, not the recipient, to prove that the person who gets the check did something to go over the asset limit or to cause the overpayment. And those who owe money can work out a longer repayment plan.

O’Malley, at a conference on SSI this month, called on Congress to raise SSI’s asset limit.

Former Maryland Gov. Martin O'Malley, the current commissioner of Social Security, testified during his confirmation hearing on Nov. 2, 2023. He says Congress needs to increase the SSI asset limit. Kevin Dietsch/Getty Images hide caption

Still, Social Security so frequently recalculates a recipient’s financial eligibility — sometimes monthly — that it’s dangerous to save and easy to run afoul of the low asset limit.

By regulation, an eligibility review is done every one to six years, but also when a beneficiary’s income changes — often when someone works or receives financial support, as simple as groceries or a place to live, from family or a friend.

If someone on SSI works — almost always, it’s part time — they’re allowed to earn no more than $65 a month before the monthly benefit check is reduced. That limit hasn’t changed since SSI started in 1972.

On earnings more than $65, Social Security will reduce their benefits by $1 for every $2 they make.

When SSI was created in 1972, few people with significant disabilities worked. But that has changed.

In 2008, Bill Morris, who runs a recycling company in Colorado, saw men with autism and other developmental disabilities skillfully taking apart electronic devices. They were members of a volunteer work program. Morris started hiring them at minimum wage or above. He says he found workers who did their jobs well and rarely missed a day of work.

Most of these disabled workers need SSI. It gets them onto Medicaid and it pays for their group homes or other living arrangements.

But they’re constantly in danger of going over the $2,000 asset limit, which hasn’t kept up, especially as the minimum wage rises. So Morris ends up needing to cut the work hours of his employees at Blue Star Recyclers — even though he needs them and when they want to work more.

Morris complains about the outdated asset limit and how SSI is run by Social Security. “They’re hurting the very people they’re supposed to be advocating for,” he says.

Those whose income changes — including those in part-time work whose pay and hours differ from month to month — are required to report each month’s earnings, providing pay stubs and receipts.

The process is difficult and bureaucratic, and that makes mistakes common, says David Camp of the National Organization of Social Security Claimants’ Representatives. Often it requires mailing documents or taking them to a Social Security office monthly. And then getting mail back. Lawyers who represent beneficiaries get “a bucket of mail a day, literally, a bucket” from Social Security, says Camp.

Someone at the agency, which is understaffed after years of budget cuts and staff attrition, often needs to take those receipts and pay stubs and type the information into a case file.

Then someone calculates benefits using a complex, 30-step worksheet.

The kindness of family and friends can put someone’s SSI benefits at risk — often in bizarre ways, says Debora Wagner, an attorney who studies overpayments at Cornell University’s K. Lisa Yang and Hock E. Tan Institute on Employment and Disability.

If a disabled person on SSI lives with family rent-free or for less than market rate, that counts as income. Social Security collects data on the family’s rent and living costs to calculate the SSI beneficiary’s “fair share” of rent.

If they’re not paying that, then their SSI benefits are reduced by a third.

An even more burdensome rule will end in September: the requirement that someone who gets an SSI check needs to report every month if anyone — including a parent or a friend — paid for their food, gave them groceries, invited them home for Thanksgiving dinner, or took them out for a meal to celebrate their birthday.

That, too, if over $20, counted as income and got deducted from their monthly benefit checks.

Until September, SSI recipients are still expected to provide Social Security with the receipts that show the amount of any food — from a grocery store or restaurant — that was gifted to them.

Restrictions on other gifts will remain in place. If a parent gives their disabled daughter $100 “to help them make ends meet,” Wagner notes that Social Security “would reduce her SSI by $80. She would only get to keep $20 of that.”

When people go over the $2,000 asset limit, sometimes they get a warning from Social Security to quickly, within days, “spend down” money they’ve saved. This is common when people work. Wagner tells them “to go to a warehouse store and buy and stock up on paper products and canned goods and frozen foods that are not perishable that they can keep for a while” — items that aren’t counted against the asset limit.

Wagner says SSI’s byzantine rules are particularly puzzling to families seeking to support young adult children with disabilities. “I encounter a lot of families who are middle income families who've never had to deal with a poverty program like SSI,” the attorney says. “It’s a completely foreign concept to them that giving gifts, doing kind things for people that they love are actually going to create problems” — like putting someone over the asset limit and getting them charged for overpayments.

“The thing I hear from families all the time is ‘I just wanted to help.’ Well, of course they do. But SSI penalizes people for being helped.”

The extreme red tape of SSI isn’t just a problem for recipients and their families — it’s a burden for Social Security, too.

It costs Social Security a lot of money to do all those complex calculations. O’Malley, at a conference this month, said SSI accounts for just 4% of all the benefits Social Security gives out, but it takes up 38% of the agency’s administrative budget.

Overpayments and fear

Valerie Smith noticed right away when Social Security, two years ago, deposited an extra SSI check in her son’s bank account.

Smith paid a friend to drive her to a nearby liquor store, where she paid for two cashier’s checks for $841 (the amount of the extra check) and then to take her to the local Social Security field office.

Valerie Smith is a full-time caretaker for her son, Courteze Goods, 29, who has spina bifida. Rosem Morton for NPR hide caption

There, she handed the money orders to a staffer and got two receipts in return.

But today, Social Security says it has no record of the returned check, even after she called and returned to the office and showed the receipts that were written to her.

“They just keep sending me threatening notices saying that I didn't pay the money back,” says Smith. “And now they’re taking money out of my son’s check.”

That’s $120 a month, from the money Smith and her son, Courteze Goods, need to survive.

The monthly SSI check allowed Smith and Goods, who was born with spina bifida and is 29 now, to buy food, pay for medical supplies not covered by insurance and to pay the rent on a subsidized townhouse in Baltimore with a ramp for his wheelchair.

Smith brings food to Goods. She noticed right away when, two years ago, Social Security sent her son an extra SSI check. Right away, she went to the Social Security office, returned the money and got receipts. But now the agency says she still owes the money. Rosem Morton for NPR hide caption

It wasn’t the first time Social Security demanded that Smith pay back money. In 2011, someone at Social Security noticed that a child support payment from her son’s father hadn't been properly recorded — back in 2006.

Because Social Security hadn’t adjusted her son’s monthly benefits, based on the new child support amount, the agency ruled that Goods had received too much.

It took Social Security more than five years to notice the mistake. It then sent Smith a bill for an “overpayment” for all those years of checks. The letter was a shock. She owed $24,685.19.

“My heart started beating,” she says. She worried whether she was “going to get locked up” or was Social Security “going to take my son’s check away?”

Smith's nearby Social Security office in Baltimore is currently closed for renovations. Rosem Morton for NPR hide caption

Smith is a careful recordkeeper. Her bank now automatically sends Social Security records of every child support payment. But before it did, Smith faithfully sent copies. At her townhouse, she pulls out a tall stack of envelopes with the proof.

When Smith got the overpayment bill, she appealed. It wasn't her mistake that her son’s account creeped over the asset limit, she said. And she didn’t have the money to pay back years of benefits.

Once she filed the appeal, Social Security was required to stop taking money from her son’s check. But it still deducted thousands of dollars. Her attorney, Victoria Robinson of Maryland Legal Aid, has asked the agency to return that money, but the family is still waiting.

In 2022, the attorney helped move Goods to a different Social Security program that is not means-tested.

With Social Security benefits, Smith and Goods can live together in a Baltimore townhouse, with a ramp for his wheelchair, and go to church, where Goods is a deacon. Rosem Morton for NPR hide caption

When Smith’s son was born, she quit her job to care for him and make sure he could live at home, go to school and to church (where he’s a deacon) and live a regular life.

Because she stopped getting a paycheck when she became a caregiver, she didn’t work long enough to qualify for Social Security retirement or disability income.

The caregiving is often rewarding, but it’s sometimes hard, physical work, with lifting and pulling. When Goods was young, there were times when — after hip and knee replacement surgeries — he’d be in a heavy full-body cast.

They lived on a second floor then.

“I would have to carry him up the steps,” Smith says. “Sixteen steps, and bring him down 16 steps.”

Smith shows a poster board with photos of Goods during his childhood. Rosem Morton for NPR hide caption

Now after decades of caregiving, Smith, who is 59, deals with her own disabilities. Dislocated discs in her back, hernias, high blood pressure, a stroke and more. “I might not look like I have it but I have it,” she says with a laugh. “And it’s only because of God causing me to look the way I look on the outside.”

A year ago, Smith qualified for SSI for herself and now those benefit checks keep her going as she continues to take care of her disabled son.

Letting down the public

It’s not just SSI beneficiaries, their families and lawyers who have a hard time figuring out the rules. They frustrate Social Security staff, too.

“Personally, I feel like I’m letting down the public,” says Roy Porter, a claims expert in upstate New York. “Just the amount of time it takes to actually get the work done on top of having these outdated regulations. It’s overwhelming.”

“These days, $2,000 doesn’t get you too much,” says Porter, who adds that he and other Social Security staffers agree that the asset limit should be raised. “People can’t save that money to pay their basic expenses.”

Workers NPR spoke to said they take pride in being able to help disabled and elderly people on SSI. “They have no income, nothing,” says Stephanie Rodriguez, a claims representative in California. Her job is most rewarding, she says, when she can help people “when they’re at their lowest” to get funding to help them stay housed and to pay for food and medicine.

But the Social Security workers talked about burnout levels of stress that result from SSI’s outdated rules and asset limit. They spoke of growing workloads and pressure from managers to spend less time with recipients with problems. Most know a colleague who quit because of the stress.

The staffers speak, too, of the stress of sometimes confrontational interactions with angry SSI recipients. Many of them complain about bureaucracy, overpayments and the long wait times trying to get through when they call the agency’s 1-800 number .

“The stress that the workers feel is nothing probably compared to the stress that the American public feels as they’re waiting for these SSI disability decisions to come to stabilize their income,” says Jessica LaPointe, president of the American Federation of Government Employees Council 220, which represents field office workers.

Social Security Commissioner O’Malley acknowledges many of his staff’s complaints and has cited high staff turnover and low morale as problems to address. He says Congress needs to increase funding to the agency. “We have more customers than ever with fewer staff than in 25 years,” he says.

O’Malley says his agency also needs more money to update an antiquated computer system that uses programs from SSI’s origins, creating problems for workers and beneficiaries.

Steven Kraidman has been battling with Social Security for years to get an answer on how much he may owe for past SSI overpayments. Joseph Shapiro/NPR hide caption

Crysti Farra, a Long Island attorney, says a frustrated Social Security staffer blamed computers that don’t connect from office to office for why her client, Steven Kraidman, can’t get a clear answer on how much he may owe for past SSI overpayments. His bill changes month to month, from $937 to $12,552 to $29,660, then lower or higher.

“As you get older, you don’t want to feel helpless,” says Kraidman, fed up with his years-long battle with the agency and its creaky computers. “If this is the golden years, let it not be filled with lead.”

The search for solutions

There’s one thing that most people — from Social Security staff to scholars, from lawyers to lawmakers — agree would solve many of SSI’s problems: raising the $2,000 asset limit.

Last September, a bipartisan group of lawmakers introduced the SSI Savings Penalty Elimination Act , which would raise the asset limit from $2,000 to $10,000 and from $3,000 to $20,000 for a married couple. That would bring the limits more in line with what they would be if they had kept up with inflation. The legislation also includes annual future raises for inflation.

“We shouldn’t be trapping elderly or disabled Americans in poverty by punishing them if they do the right thing, if they try to set aside a little bit of money for savings.” said Sen. Sherrod Brown, a Democrat from Ohio and the bill’s co-author. “It should be common sense.”

Democratic Sen. Sherrod Brown of Ohio (left) and Republican Sen. Bill Cassidy of Louisiana (in back) listen to Emily Demko and her mother, Margaret Demko, outside the U.S. Capitol last summer during a press conference on reforming the SSI program. Megan Smith/USA Today Network via Reuters hide caption

Sen. Bill Cassidy, a co-author and Louisiana Republican, worried that the current asset limit keeps people from trying to work. “It’s an easy fix, encourages work, allows savings and gets people out of poverty,” he said. “What’s not to like?”

The bill has stalled in Congress.

One issue is cost. Social Security’s actuaries estimate that raising the asset limit to $10,000 would add $9.8 billion to the program over 10 years , in part because more people would be eligible.

Romig, the SSI policy expert, calls these costs “modest” since updating the asset limit would make the system more efficient. Fewer recipients would get kicked off SSI and Social Security staff would spend less time needing to do complex monthly calculations.

In addition, SSI would reach more people and more would become eligible for Medicaid as a result.

Almost any solution would need to come from Congress. Smalligan, the Urban Institute researcher, supports raising the asset limit. Meanwhile, he says Congress or Social Security could change the way it determines who is over the limit . Instead of checking whenever someone’s income changes, even monthly, the agency could certify people for a year at a time “and let them keep their benefit until they’re recertified.”

Vallas, with the National Academy of Social Insurance, notes that almost every state has reformed or eliminated asset limits for other income assistance programs such as food stamps, welfare or energy assistance. That change, she says, reflects an understanding among poverty experts that such limits are antiquated and often keep people in poverty.

Vallas asks: “And yet, which program has been completely left out from that policy trend? SSI. Mostly because almost since its origins, it’s just always been the forgotten safety net.”

• KSAT Insider
• KSAT Connect
• Entertainment

WEATHER ALERT

3 advisories in effect for 6 regions in the area

Brackenridge high school senior receives surprise visit before graduation ceremony, david randy castillo was set to walk on stage, but he had an unexpected visitor.

Nate Kotisso , Digital Journalist

SAN ANTONIO – A San Antonio high school student had the surprise of a lifetime before he walked onstage at his graduation ceremony.

David Randy Castillo, a senior at Brackenridge High School, was set to culminate his high school education with family and friends Tuesday night inside the Alamo Convocation Center.

Recommended Videos

However, one family member was missing: his father, David Castillo, a petty officer first class in the U.S. Navy.

Castillo didn’t know his father would turn an important milestone into an unforgettable night.

Castillo’s father surprised his son as cheers erupted from the graduation crowd.

@satxisd Military surprise homecoming at the Brackenridge HS graduation! 💜🌟🇺🇸 ¡Sorpresa regreso a casa militar en la graduación de Brackenridge HS! 💜🌟🇺🇸 @US NAVY OFFICIAL @NAVY PRODUCTION #militarytiktok #militarysurprise #surprise #militaryhomecoming #welcomeback #welcomehome #family #familia #joinsaisd #saisdproud #saisdfamilia #sanantonioisd #saisd #satx #sanantonio #sanantoniotx #sanantoniotexas #school #escuela #escuelatiktok #student #students #estudiante #estudiantes #learn #learning #aprender #parati #fyp #fypシ #highschool #highschoolgraduation #highschoolgrad #highschoolgraduate #pompandcircumstance #walkthestage #graduation #commencement #capandgown #schoolhistory #history #graduacion #memories #memoriesbringback #makingmemories #memoriesareforever ♬ original sound - A - A

Castillo is stationed aboard the USS Theodore Roosevelt in the South China Sea. He boarded a plane in Singapore, beginning an approximately 17-hour trek back home to San Antonio.

Castillo arrived at the graduation ceremony less than an hour before the ceremony began, the San Antonio Independent School District said in a news release.

In a video shared by the district, Castillo said he would spend the next two weeks with his family before returning to his naval duties in the South China Sea.

Copyright 2024 by KSAT - All rights reserved.

About the Author

Nate kotisso.

Nate Kotisso joined KSAT as a digital journalist in 2024. He previously worked as a newspaper reporter in the Rio Grande Valley for more than two years and spent nearly three years as a digital producer at the CBS station in Oklahoma City.

In surprise Ukraine visit, Blinken declares vision for Kyiv’s victory

In the first high-level U.S. trip since Congress approved a major aid package, the top diplomat pushes for reforms he says will help bolster Ukraine against Russia.

KYIV — Ukraine’s friends are committed to helping it fortify and prevail against Russia’s full-scale invasion, Secretary of State Antony Blinken declared in a speech in Ukraine’s capital Tuesday, vowing to aid in the Kremlin’s defeat even as Kyiv faces deepening questions about its ability to hold off an assault threatening its front lines.

In an unusually sweeping address for the chief U.S. diplomat, Blinken called for a long-term plan to further enhance the country’s war machine so it would be better able to resist the Kremlin on its own, and for anti-corruption efforts and other reforms that Ukraine has struggled with ever since it broke from the Soviet Union in 1991.

Blinken’s unannounced two-day trip was the first high-level visit by a Biden administration official since Congress last month approved a $61 billion aid package for Ukraine after seven months of obstruction by some Republicans. The visit was intended as a show of solidarity as the Pentagon speeds delivery of air defenses, artillery and other combat equipment in a bid to stabilize Kyiv’s military — and as Ukraine contends with the possibility that it may never regain all the territory it has lost to Russia.

U.S. officials have conceded that Ukraine’s sizable challenges mean it may not regain a battlefield advantage before 2025 at the earliest, fueling fears among Ukrainian officials that they could be pushed into negotiating with Russian President Vladimir Putin while he has the upper hand.

GET CAUGHT UP Summarized stories to quickly stay informed

A punishing heat dome will test Phoenix’s strategy to reduce heat-related deaths

Trump plans to claim sweeping powers to cancel federal spending

North Korea sent trash balloons. Activists in the South sent K-pop.

U.S. notches historic upset of Pakistan at cricket World Cup

Has tipping gone too far? Here’s a guide on when to tip.

“The coming weeks and months will demand a great deal of Ukrainians, who have already sacrificed so much. But I have come to Ukraine with a message: You are not alone,” Blinken said in a speech delivered to senior officials and students in an ornate hall inside the Kyiv Polytechnic Institute.

“Americans understand that our support for Ukraine strengthens the security of the United States and our allies. They understand that if Putin achieves his goals here in Ukraine, he won’t stop with Ukraine. He’ll keep going,” he said.

The speech came after a day of meetings in the capital, including with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky. The Biden administration has been eager to display Washington’s continued support for the country after congressional inaction choked off U.S. assistance and weakened Ukraine’s ability to repel renewed Russian attacks.

Russia’s military capacity has proved resilient. Former president Donald Trump , meanwhile, has been much more equivocal about helping Ukraine than President Biden , and Trump is running strong in U.S. election polls . So the reassurances from the top U.S. diplomat that Washington remains a reliable supporter were likely to have sounded different from the last time he was here, in September, as Ukraine was just starting to wind down a hotly anticipated counteroffensive that ultimately failed to recapture much ground.

Blinken said the Biden administration hoped to build up Ukraine’s military, its military industry and its industrial base so the country’s defense has a sharper bite and its economy is more robust. To succeed, he said, will require major continued reform efforts to beat back corruption . Ukraine must also open up key parts of the economy, such as the energy sector, to more competition, he said.

“Winning on the battlefield will prevent Ukraine from becoming part of Russia. Winning the war against corruption will keep Ukraine from becoming like Russia,” Blinken said.

Blinken tacitly acknowledged the political challenges in Washington of approving further aid packages.

“The American people want to know that we have a plan for getting to the day when Ukraine can stand strongly on its own feet militarily, economically, democratically, so that America’s support can transition to more sustainable levels,” he said. “Our goal is to lay a foundation so strong that it dispels any doubts about Ukraine’s ability to impose punishing costs on those who try to take its territory.”

Ukraine also faces a continued struggle inside the United States, where House Republicans who held up aid for months continue to question the long-term strategy and Ukraine’s chances for success.

In the end, the aid passed the House with a large majority, but with fewer than half of Republicans in support. Trump has sent mixed messages about his policies but has declared that if he returns to the White House, he would end the war in 24 hours .

Blinken has also been largely preoccupied elsewhere in recent months, focusing on the Middle East since the Oct. 7 Hamas attack on Israel and Israel’s subsequent military operation in Gaza. While lower-level trips to Ukraine have continued, Blinken has visited the Middle East seven times since the fall, a measure of the degree to which regional diplomacy there is now consuming his days. By contrast, he has traveled to Kyiv four times since Russia invaded Ukraine in February 2022.

On Tuesday, he sought to reassure Ukrainians that Washington remained with them, reaching into history to speak of Taras Shevchenko, a Ukrainian national hero who helped foster the country’s identity in the 19th century and sought to distinguish it from Russia.

“For decades, Putin has caused unspeakable grief for the people of Ukraine. He’s inflicted every kind of degradation and harshness. And yet like Shevchenko before you, what is inside Ukrainians, that has not changed,” Blinken said. “The spirit of Ukrainians cannot be destroyed by a bomb or buried in a mass grave. It cannot be bought with a bribe or repressed with a threat. It is pure. It is unbreakable. And it is why Ukraine will succeed.”

In their meeting at the heavily fortified presidential offices in central Kyiv, Zelensky declared his “big appreciation” for the U.S. aid. But he also said Ukraine’s needs remained urgent and immediate. “Air defense [is] the biggest deficit for us,” he told Blinken.

“Really, we need today two Patriots for Kharkiv,” he said, referring to the advanced U.S.-made antimissile system. “There are people under attack, civilians and warriors.”

Kharkiv, Ukraine’s second-largest city, is so close to the Russian border — leaving so little response time to airstrikes — that some military experts question how useful the expensive Patriot system would be there.

Ukrainians have also chafed at White House restrictions that they not use U.S. equipment to strike inside Russian territory, something they say is a disadvantage as they fight an invading force.

Russia’s military planners have proved adaptable and have used glide bombs and other munitions to exhaust Kyiv’s antiaircraft defenses, destroy its energy infrastructure and pound its front lines. Ukraine has needed to reinforce its defenses, including its trenches and its minefields, as Russian forces have advanced this spring. Kyiv is also facing a major shortage of trained soldiers , a problem that has no quick fix.

Ukraine’s challenges have been on display this week near Kharkiv. Russian forces have been pressing forward , forcing the evacuation of many front-line towns.

Military analysts and officials say those troops do not appear numerous enough to capture Kharkiv and that the tactic may be designed to pull Ukrainian troops from elsewhere on the front, stretching and weakening its defenses.

“At this stage of the war, Russia has the strategic initiative and holds the material advantage. But it is not necessarily decisive. Much depends on what happens in the coming months,” said Michael Kofman, a senior fellow at the Carnegie Endowment for International Peace.

“The recently passed supplemental is not a magic wand. It cannot instantly resolve the issues that the Ukrainian military currently is facing, which go well beyond shortages of ammunition,” he said.

Still, U.S. officials say they are moving as quickly as they can. Since April 24, they have announced $1.4 billion in aid for Ukraine using the presidential drawdown authority, the fastest-moving type of assistance. The Biden administration last month also announced an additional $6 billion in slower-moving military assistance that it aims to use by the end of the year. And in coming weeks, the White House plans to finalize a long-term memorandum of understanding with the Ukrainians that would guarantee security assistance for the next decade.

U.S. diplomats and military strategists want to help Ukraine reinforce its defenses this year, planning no major counteroffensives, unlike the one last year that fizzled. Instead, they say, they hope Ukraine can hold its defensive lines, replenish its ranks, keep the Black Sea open for commercial shipping and tie up Russia’s military assets in Crimea so they are less of a threat.

If Kyiv can rebuild the strength of its military, Ukraine will be in a better position next year, U.S. officials and analysts say.

“I’m not saying victory is inevitable,” said Daniel Fried, a retired senior State Department official who is a fellow at the Atlantic Council. “But there is a reasonable scenario.”